


Change me, erase me

by skydemonslayer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Human Experimentation, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-02-09 17:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12893061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skydemonslayer/pseuds/skydemonslayer
Summary: After I have seen Langst in the third season, I couldn't resist to write a fanfic. So this is going to be a multi-chapter angst with all of members of the Voltron team. Lance suffers a low self-esteem and feels that he doesn't belong to the team. Things worsen when he is captured by the Galra and used as an experiment toy. Expect a lot of Klangst of course and maybe some Shallura. I will try to update it every week or at least every two weeks. So, guys, I will be glad to read your opinions about my work.





	1. Chapter 1

It was 27th July. Lance McClain sighted. Tomorrow is his birthday and the only thing he wanted was to celebrate it with his family in Cuba. The gentle caress of sun and wind, the laughter of his brothers and sisters, the smell of homemade cake- he missed all of this so much that he was about to cry.  
But Lance held in his tears. As far as family and home were concerned, he had it better than most of his comrades. Allura had her parents and her whole race killed. Keith had no home to return to. Shiro had been kept as prisoner of Galra Empire and tortured for years. Pidge and Hunk should be missing their families too.  
Although he had no right to complain, Lance felt extremely lonely and at the same time pitiful. They were at the middle of a war for the future of the Universe and he was worried about his birthday. Instead of training or doing anything useful, he had spent the time after dinner in dreaming of sunny beaches.  
The day after Lance was not in his best mood. Before going to the dining room, he forced a smile. It was nothing to dramatize about - he needed to do his duties for today and pretend everything was okay.  
To his surprise, no one was to be seen in the corridor, even the lights were off. There was no sound from the dining room either. That was strange. The main part of Voltron team was getting up early. Keith even started training at dawn. In fact, Lance was an early bird as well, but needed more time to get up from his bed, especially today.  
He was overthinking before falling asleep and that left him tired and unrested in the morning. He always thought about what or what not had he accomplished during the day, how much had he disappointed himself and the others and so on. He even kept a diary, in which he wrote down if the day had gone good or not.  
Still worrying what he was going to write for his birthday, he opened the door of the dining room. Suddenly the lights went on and his friends screamed “HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ”. Lance was so stunned that he couldn’t react properly at first. They knew and had prepared him a surprise.  
“Oh, my God.”- Lance’s voice trembled from excitement. - “You, guys ..”  
“Come, Lance, there’s a cake to be eaten and presents to be opened.”- smiled Hunk, a big chocolate cake in his hands.  
Lance didn’t know what to say and just nodded. His smile wasn’t fake anymore. He wanted to hug everyone and finally decided to do it. Even Keith didn’t resist and smiled a bit after the hug. That was something new.  
Today’s breakfast was the amazing cake, made by Hung. No one could doubt his cooking talent anymore. Pidge had crafted a small player with some of Lance’s favorite songs, which they used to listen to in Garrison. The three of them laughed at the memories of the nights and afternoons spent together.  
Allura came up with a cushion, containing minerals from a planet the Voltron team had found not long time ago. They smelled like sea and sand, like home. Lance hid his damp eyes with his hand. Coran’s gift was a strange Altean gadget, whose purpose wasn’t wholly clear for Lance. Maybe after some time he was going to find it out.  
Lance opened the last present. There was a big knife inside. It seemed multifunctional like the Swedish knifes on Earth. There were blades, key for handcuffs and chains, scissors, bottle and door openers. Lance’s smile grew bigger. How typical Keith.  
“I was not sure what exactly should I buy for you. I am not the best in choosing presents”- the black haired boy smiled awkwardly. - “And I was not sure that people buy such a things for each other.”  
“It’s perfect, buddy.”- Lance touched his shoulder to encourage him- “I will put it to a good use.”  
That was one of the “good days” in his diary. Lance seemed to have found his new family. Several days later the truth hit him harder than ever - the Voltron team was divided into groups and he was the seventh wheel. Allura and Coran were old and close friends. Pidge and Hunk hang out as the remains of the Garrison Trio, to which he didn’t belong anymore.  
Lance had started to spent time with the person he never expected- Keith. He was determined to become a better Paladin, so he trained together with the black haired boy every day. But Shiro came back and the badass, heroic duo was no longer torn apart. Lance was left behind.  
*  
“Talk to me please.”-whispered Lance, tears streaming down his face. -“Just tell me what I have done wrong.”  
Blue didn’t show any sign that she heard him. He visited her every night in unsuccessful attempt to find out why she had shut him out. Nobody even Allura could explain the behavior of the lion. Yes, Lance had Red now, but it didn’t feel right. His current lion was not meant for him.  
“I need you. But if you don’t want me, say it and I will leave you.”- in spite of his efforts, his voice was trembling.  
The following silence broke all of his remaining self-control. Lance fell to his knees and sobbed loud. It wasn’t just about the battles and Voltron formation. Blue knew all his secrets, all his insecurities and fears. And yet, she suddenly stopped supporting him. He was abandoned by his girl and had no one to confide in.  
“Why had you chosen me and not Allura from the beginning? Am I such a bad Paladin that you decided I no longer deserved to pilot you? ”- screamed Lance. –“Do I mean anything to you or I am just a trash that you will throw away?”  
The boy from Cuba reached desperately to his mental bond with Blue. He had never tried to do that before. That was his last chance to connect to her. Then he gasped - there was nothing. His bound with Blue had completely disappeared.  
Lance woke up from his nightmare with а brow swept into a cold sweat and steamy eyes. He needed a quarter to calm down and distinguish reality from dream. His mind was playing games with him. It wasn’t hard to find the reason for his anxiety- today started a dangerous undercover mission in Galra battleship.  
While Lance was changing in his clothes, he tried again to think of a logical reason for Keith to choose him as his partner in this operation. Since Shiro wasn’t accepted by the Black lion, the black haired boy still was the leader. Lance was sure he will be just reinforcement as always, so Keith’s decision was a greater surprise than his birthday party last week.  
Lance had trained as hard as he could the past week and had remembered every single part of the plan perfectly. Maybe he was the goof ball, but this time he was not going to mess it up. Since Keith had trusted him, Lance had decided to prove that he is worthy to be part of the Voltron team.  
“Are you ready for the mission?”- asked Keith as they met in the corridor.  
“Of course, leader. I will infiltrate that Galra ship like a cave, full of mermaids.”  
“You are nervous, aren’t you?”- unexpectedly, Keith smiled instead of frowning or rolling his eyes.  
“A little. How do you know?”  
“You always crack stupid jokes, when you’re nervous. I am already used to it.” – Keith’s face became serious again. - “There’s no need to worry about the mission. Things will work themselves out.”  
The words of the current Voltron leader were simple, yet effective. There was something soothing in his quiet, but firm voice. Lance’s heart stopped to race and shock after the nightmare left. The panic set his mind free and he was finally able to focus.  
“Thank you, buddy.”  
*  
Lance panicked again as soon as they were on the Galra ship. His imagination showed him every possible thing he could do wrong. Fortunately, he was together with Keith. When did he start to be so happy about the other boy’s presence?  
As soon as Lance saw the tall figure with long white hair, he knew they were in trouble. Nobody had told them that the heir of Galra Empire was on that ship. Fortunately, Prince Lotor’s crew was nowhere to be seen. Next to him Keith tensioned, his knife already in his hand.  
The situation got worse. Lance didn’t know if Lotor was aware of their infiltration, but the best decision for the moment was to stay covered. As Voltron leader Keith bore personal grudge against the Prince and always lost his senses in his presence. Lance grabbed his hand before his hot headed friend did something stupid.  
“Keith, don’t.”-hissed Lance. He knew that his partner was stronger than him and he couldn’t hold him for long.  
“But that’s him. We need to…”  
“To stay hidden. We are not prepared to fight him right now. Imagine if his crew is here. That makes five against two.”  
“We will finish with him before that.”  
“Keith, please.”  
“Okay, fine.”- Keith frowned, but relaxed a bit.  
The aim of their mission was the plans for a new Galra battleship. The two Paladins should copy them and then show them to Pidge and Coran. Barely had they reached the engineering room, when Lotor appeared again. Although they looked like regular Galra soldiers, Lance didn’t dare to pass by the Prince.  
Keith sensed his anxiety and stopped. Suddenly a general with a big group of soldiers appeared and the Paladins were forced to go with them. There was going to be testing of the power supply that could be both a benefit and a problem for them.  
Since the group was riding off the engineering room, Keith pulled Lance in a small empty room. Their hiding turned out to be filled with lot of cables and wires. The current Red paladin lost his balance and fell over his friend.  
The two boys found themselves on the floor, totally entangled in cables. Lance was just about to stand up and help Keith, when the lights went off. His task suddenly became tough, since he literally saw nothing.  
“Lance, find my knife. My hands are totally tied up.”  
“I can’t see anything.”- complained Lance.  
„Use your hands.”  
“That sounded so wrong.”- Lance couldn’t help, but laugh. - “I am starting to imagine things.”  
“For God’s sake! “- Keith growled.-“Can you turn off your pervert sub consciousness at least for a moment?”  
“I am extremely nervous at the moment.”-snapped Lance.  
After several minutes the two boys were finally free. The corridor was completely dark and quiet. Keith was irritated, while Lance had forgotten his worries and was smiling widely. Little did he know that this was going to be his last smile for a long time.  
*  
Lance made the mistake to get up sharply and immediately clenched his teeth. The pain meant at least one cracked rib. His head was throbbing and his bruises from the first encounter with the Galra still hurt. In addition to that, his hands were now in chains and the metal had already galled the skin beneath.  
The door of his new cell opened and Lance tensioned. When Prince Lotor came in, the Red Paladin stepped back as far as he could. The heir of Galra Empire was extremely intelligent and cunning, so extremely dangerous for the Voltron team.  
“Oh, my sweet Paladin, don’t be so afraid of me.”- Lotor smiled, revealing his sharp teeth. Lance was impressed how perfectly white were they. - “I thought you were dauntless, considering you infiltrated the ship and after you were caught, tried to escape.”  
Lance preferred to remain silent and tried to look confident in himself. Showing fear and weakness in front of one of his worst enemies would lead him to nowhere. His eyes dilated, when he noticed the little phial with purple liquid in the right hand of Prince.  
“To be honest, I wanted to let you find your friend. It would have been so funny, since only one of you had an eventual chance to get out of this ship.”- Lotor came closer and Lance’s heart started to beat faster. - “But I should test this interrogation water, as Haggar named it. Sorry, if it has bitter taste.”  
Lance didn’t have the time to fight, when Lotor pinned him to the cold floor of the cell. The Red Paladin tried to withstand, but his hands were ineffective. The Prince gripped his throat and his nose. Lance couldn’t resist the urge to breathe and opened his mouth. The purple liquid burned his tongue.


	2. Chapter 2

“Did you give him the interrogation water?” the hoarse voice of Haggar interrupted roughly his flow of thoughts.  
“Yes. What will be its effect?” asked Lotor.  
„Тhis is none of your business. Leave magic and alchemy to me.” The witch didn’t bother to look at him. Lotor narrowed his eyes, but swallowed the insult. “I want you to give him the antidote in the next three days.”  
“Antidote?”  
“The boy will suffer because of the “water”. You give him the “cure” and soon he will be so addicted to it he will obey every command of the Galra Empire.”  
“He will become a slave, won’t he? Interesting.” Lotor smiled. “Can I play with him?”  
“Absolutely not. Stop acting, as if you were the new Emperor. The fact that Zarkon still hadn’t recovered doesn’t give you any power or right to rule. You had been exiled, don’t forget that.”  
“Oh, I haven’t forgotten.” Lotor’s smile disappeared. “Don’t worry about it, Mother.”  
To say that the Prince was furious after this conversation would be an understatement. He was ready to wreck the whole ship and throw Haggar out in space. But the Heir of Zarkon had learned to control his emotions a long time ago and put his anger on a leash.  
Lotor had never felt such a great affection towards his family as most children. It seemed he lacked some primal instincts and emotions. Had the Prince been raised with love, he might have not grown so cold hearted. But all of his childhood memories contained exhausting days in the training hall and lonely nights in the murky corridors of the Galra battleships. His father, the Emperor, was only a high dark figure with piercing, but cold purple eyes. His mother, the Leader of the Galra Druids, barely recognized him as her own child.  
Still, Lotor wanted to be appreciated by his parents and did his best to be like them. The throne of Galra Empire was his biggest and only dream. The Prince grew quite powerful and intelligent with an admirable knowledge in history and politics. His complete indifference to love was only an advantage.  
Despite all his efforts, his father had estimated him as unworthy to be his heir and exiled him. His mother couldn’t care less. That was the first and last time Lotor had cried in years. His pride was crashed, the wound ached for months. The hurt become hatred, the humiliation- ambition. He was going to rule the Universe.  
*  
In less than an hour the “water” started to provoke chemical reactions in the body of the Red Paladin, imitating certain hormones. His hidden bitter emotions and thoughts were no longer under his control. Lance winced as he suddenly felt awfully exhaustion and melancholy.  
He was still dressed in his blue battle clothes, which reminded him of his ex-lion. Lance McClain, Defender of the Universe- what a joke. In the delirium of the “water” the Red Paladin laughed bitterly. He should have never agreed to become part of Voltron.  
“You weren’t better before that.” whispered a tiny voice in his head. Back at Garrison he wasn’t even an average student, he was below that. His name was always one of the last in the lists with achievements. He wasn’t a good pilot, engineer or computer specialist, not to mention a leader. Just a worthless failure, which tried to be special.  
Lance had become even more pathetic on the ship. He was jealous of Pidge’s friendship with his former best buddy Hunk. Envy corroded him every time he saw Keith hanging out with his idol Shiro. Lance constantly and desperately searched for attention, especially from the ladies.  
Keith had made a great mistake by choosing him. What use of the “cool ninja sharpshooter”, when he couldn’t accomplish his mission. There would not be such a great problem, if the current Voltron leader had not been captured as well. The dark haired boy was half Galra. If their enemies found it out, they were going to experiment with him in the sake of corrupting the Defender of the Universe. Lance couldn’t imagine how the enslaved aliens would accept Voltron with a Galra leader.  
His last though was the key out of his dark mind. Although his whole body hurt, Lance tried to stand up. A quiet scream left his cracked lips. Slowly, using the cold wall for support, Lance succeeded. His feet bend, but he managed not to fall again. The Red Paladin took deep breath and gained all energy he had.  
Lance started to search beneath his clothes. Fortunately, the Galra guards had taken only his gun. Soon the Red Paladin was free from the chains. The door of his cell also wasn’t any challenge for his new knife. Keith’s present was literally and figuratively their key to freedom.  
The “water” was still messing up with his emotional and mental stability, but Lance refused to give up. Voltron needed its leader and couldn’t survive to lose it once more. “Only one of you had an eventual chance to get out of this ship.” That was going to be Keith.  
Lance managed somehow to reach Keith’s cell without falling on the ground or meeting a Galra guardian. A part of his mind suspected the last one was arranged by Prince Lotor. Lance stopped only once to vomit. After opening the door the Red Paladin put the usual confident mask on his face and raised his chin. Hopefully, he wasn’t reeking of the vomited food. Lance didn’t intend to tell Keith about the “water”.  
“Lance?!?”whispered the dark haired boy.  
“Yes, the unique Lance McClain at your service.” the Red Paladin started to unchain his leader.  
“That is my knife, isn’t it?” Keith recognized the weapon at the purple light outside the cell.  
“Yes, I promised to put it to a good use.” The two Paladins walked slowly, near the walls.  
“I heard you had already tried to escape once, but were caught.”  
“I am sure I didn’t.” Lance concealed his lie with laugh. “We should find our weapons now.”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yes, why are you asking?” the Red Paladin started to play with his belt nervously.  
“To make sure they didn’t hurt you.” Keith looked like a beast with his bared teeth and the lethal flame in his grey eyes. Lance had never seen him like that and to be honest, was afraid of him.  
The little number of Galra soldiers around the room, where their weapons were placed, confirmed Lance’s suspicion about interference by the Prince. Not that Lance cared. One though had possessed his mind- “Keith should escape at any cost.”  
“Did Prince Lotor come to your cell?” Lance tried to sound careless. His gun was his excuse not to meet Keith’s gaze.  
“Nope. I haven’t seen him even once. And you?”  
“No.” his voice was a way too quiet.  
“You are acting strange.”  
“Am I?”  
“You know you can tell me anything, right? As a current leader, I should take care of all Voltron members.” Keith touched his shoulder lightly.  
“There is nothing to say.” that was the first truth Lance had told in the last fifteen minutes. “Everything will be fine, when we get out of here. Things will work themselves out.”  
Keith nodded with a lot calmer expression. Lance sighted- he didn’t want to lie. But there was no way to tell the brave and selfless Black Paladin that only one of them could escape. Any sensible leader would estimate the insignificance of Lance and save himself, but not Keith.  
“So, now we should reach the depot with the fighters. I have already а signal to the Castle of lions per my tracking device. They will be here soon.” Keith had already a plan, while Lance was barely standing on his feet.  
“Wow, dude, that was fast. Aren’t we going to finish the mission?”  
“Are you mad? Trying to steal the plans now would be equal to going back in our cells. I thought you can’t wait to lie down in your comfortable bed in the Castle.”  
Keith didn’t realize the damage his last words laid on Lance. On the one hand, he was classified again as a lazy goof ball. On the other hand, he was not going to see the Castle for one God knows how long time.  
Suddenly the alarm went off and the Paladins started to run. Whatever time the Prince had given them, was already expired. When they reached the depot, Lance took a deep breath. There were exactly two fighters. Maybe Lotor had lied to him. Maybe both of them were about to escape.  
The hope of the Red Paladin perished as soon as he tried to ignite his fighter. The machine was working, yet there was a problem with the engine or the fuel. The power was far from enough and the fighter would last only a few minutes. One look towards the complicated mechanisms reminded Lance of his lack of skill in engineering.  
Lance was actually relieved, since his friend seemed to have no issues with his machine. Now he needed to deceive Keith until the Black Paladin leaves the ship. The chance that Lance also gets rescued by his comrades still existed, unless the Galra ship teleports.  
“They are here.” screamed Keith.  
In the first moment Lance wasn’t sure if he speaks about the Voltron team or their enemies. Then he felt the presence of Red and decided it was worth the shot to try to summon the Lion. A large group of Galra soldiers stormed in the depot and he couldn’t concentrate.  
Keith immediately flew away. Lance followed him, but was a way too slow. The engine sounded like а drowning man, when Lance tried to press out every power left in his fighter. Smoke spread in the cabin and the Red Paladin coughed. Beneath him the Galra soldiers were shouting  
The door started to shut down. Keith was already out and soon was going to reach the castle. Lance was still pressing the buttons of his fighter with sweaty fingers and damp eyes. Only little more effort and he was out of this prison. His last hope, Red, responded to his current pilot and rushed to him with a roar.  
The next fifteen minutes were often part of Lance’s nightmares from now on. His fighter shoved into the metal door. The Red Paladin screamed, when he fall hard on the floor of the machine and all of his wounds ached at the same time. His vision blurred. In this moment the Galra ship teleported.  
Lance didn’t make an effort to stand up. He was worn out and wanted to fall asleep. What was happening around him slowed down. When Galra soldiers opened the hatch of his fighter and brought him out, he didn’t react at all. He was forced on his knees and chained, but even the pain in his wrists didn’t concern him anymore.  
“Keith had escaped.”- that was the last thought of Lance McClain, before he was hit on the head.


	3. Chapter 3

Pidge was carefully monitoring the escape of Lance and Keith. The Galra ship didn’t attack the Castle of Lions, which was suspicious. Fortunately, the tracking device of Keith was getting closer as one fighter left the enemy ship. But where was the other one?  
Barely seconds after the fighter reached the Castle, the space in front of them shined and the Galra teleported. Pidge stand up and ran together with the others to welcome Keith and Lance. Their escape plan seemed to be successful, so the girl smiled triumphant.  
„Keith, are you okay?” Shiro immediately checked the new Voltron leader for injuries. The black haired boy had a giant bruise on the check and a little dark red stains on his body, but nothing serious.  
“Where is Lance?” asked the current Black Paladin.  
“Isn’t he with you? Only one fighter entered the Castle.” explained Pidge.  
“No, we were in different machines.” terror overtook Keith’s face. The smiles of the whole team disappeared. “WHERE IS LANCE?”  
“He should still be in the Galra battleship.” answered Shiro.  
“Which teleported.” added Pidge.  
“No, please, no.” Keith fell on his knees. “Not again.”  
“So, Lance couldn’t escape.” the truth they all feared left Pidge’s lips.  
“But why? His fighter was working, he was flying behind me.” his lower lip quivered. “But I was so concentrated to escape, that I forgot to check where he is.”  
“It’s not your fault, Keith.”Shiro tried to calm him.  
“Of course, it’s my fault. I failed as leader. I left my own right-hand man, my friend behind.”  
“Guys, we should calm down and then discuss our future course of action.” suggested Allura.  
“Let’s gather after two hours in the dining hall.”  
“We should save him.” whispered Keith. The expression of the dark haired boy was familiar to Pidge. She had seen it so many times in the mirror after her brother was captured by the Empire.  
*  
“We should find him at any cost.” Keith’s voice was firm, trembling with hidden anger.  
“We can’t form Voltron without him.”Allura agreed with him.  
“Why is always about Voltron?” when Shiro was missing, Keith was impulsive and hot-headed. Now he was going to explode. “Is Lance nothing more than just a part of the mightiest weapon in the Universe?”  
“I didn’t mean that.”  
“Are you going to suggest to leave him in the hands of our enemies and to search for another Paladin?” Keith’s nostrils flared.  
“We can’t track him, can we?”Allura turned her gaze to Pidge, avoiding Keith’s burning eyes.  
“Lance has no tracking device with him. The ship could be everywhere.”  
“So, we will give up on him as he had done with Shiro.” snarled Keith  
“We had never given up on Shiro and we will do everything in our power to rescue Lance.” Allura tried to smile reassuringly. “We need time to find that Galra ship.”  
For a moment the tension in the room eased. The whole team started to eat in silence. Pidge was amazed how the human brain worked under such circumstances. It longed for food, for something safe and familiar.  
Suddenly the silence was disturbed by a clank. Keith had tossed his fork over the table. With his grey eyes, now almost black with rage, and his bared teeth he looked like a savage beast. Pidge flinched a bit and felt her heart beating faster than normal  
“You put a sleeping potion in my food, don’t you? “ the Green Paladin had never heard him talking so cold. “Because I can’t be controlled anymore. “  
“It is not like that..” started Coran.  
“Shut up.” screamed Keith and stand up. “I am done with your prattle.”  
After the tense diner Pidge wanted to be alone in her room and think. Keith was right- they shouldn’t leave their comrades behind. There must be a way to locate that Galra ship and Pidge was going to be the one to find it.  
“Pidge.”- screamed somebody behind him. The Green Paladin turned around and saw Hunk running after him. “I wanna talk with you.”  
“Let’s go in your room then.”  
“I still can’t believe we lost Lance.” mumbled Hunk as they were sitting on his bed. “I know he is still alive, but …”  
“The Galra may torture him and use him against us.” Pidge finished his thought bleakly.  
“He was my best friend at Garrison. “  
“I know.”  
“You and Lance were never so close, but you are part of group there. I thought you will understand me.”  
“The whole team understands.” assured Pidge. “We will find him, don’t worry.”  
“I always feel better after I have talked with you.” Hunk gave a half-smile.  
“I am glad.” Pidge returned his smile. “Did you know anything about the sleeping potion?”  
“Of course not. I will never do such a thing.”  
*  
Pidge didn’t make the effort to put on her pajama that night. The whole team knew Keith will go after Lance. When the alarm signaled that Black was trying to fly in space, everyone gathered in the hangar. Pidge was wondering why Keith would do something so reckless.  
Then she saw his face. The black haired boy didn’t look angry, no, he was driven mad. The human part of him was no longer there. His aura was as sinister as a Galra and the dark flame in his eyes promised violence and destruction.  
“Are you going to stop me?” barked Keith.  
“What are you going to do? Fly in space until you find Lance?” retorted Allura.  
“Nope. I will infiltrate a Galra ship and find information about his or Lotor’s whereabouts.”  
“Lotor was on that ship?” asked Coran.  
“Yes and that’s another reason to find it.”  
“Keith, I know you are angry.” Pidge played the role of common sense. “But we can’t risk losing another Pilot or lion. We are in the middle of war.”  
“And we should abandon our soldiers, don’t we?” Keith smiled bitterly. “Have you already forgotten that Lance was your friend at Garrison?”  
“That has nothing to do with our current situation.” Pidge started to lose her self-control and raised her voice.  
“I refuse to be a leader of a team that leaves its people behind.” claimed Keith and get out of the hangar.  
Afterwards Pidge didn’t want to stay alone, so she went to Hung’s bedroom again. The Yellow Paladin was down in the dumps as never before and touched with his fingertips the photo on the wall where the Garrison trio was smiling brightly.  
“Keith is right.” mumbled Pidge. “Lance was our friend. But what is he now?”  
“He still is our friend, of course.”  
“How many times did you hung out with Lance since the whole Voltron thing started?”  
“I don’t know. I haven’t counted them, you know.”  
“Don’t lie to yourself, Hunk. We have been unconsciously excluding him all the time.”  
“But I have never wanted to hurt him.” sadness clouded Hunk’s features  
“Me neither. But we have done it.”  
“You are right. We should talk with him more. The Garrison Trio shouldn’t become a memory”  
“First we should find him.”  
“We will.”  
“Yes.” Pidge nodded, although she didn’t believe herself.  
Keith’s words had touched her far more deeply as she admitted. As soon as she went in her room, she started to cry. Her whole chest hurt, the hopelessness and guilt were smashing her from the inside. Pidge went to the bathroom to wash her face, only to start to cry again.  
The red eyes and the glowing tears on her lashes she saw in the mirror reminded her of every futile attempt to find Matt. Since she had cut her hair and stopped to call herself Katie Holt, she had never shown any vulnerability in front of the others, even Hunk. The only witnesses of her tears were her glasses, the mirror and the pillow.  
Pidge got out the photo of her and Matt. Her fingers caressed gently the image of her brother. Everything she had done in the last years, including becoming the Green Paladin, was because of her search for him. Every day she woke up with the hope she will finally find him and every night her wish laid rip and torn.  
What if Lance had disappeared the same way? What if both of them were no longer to be found? What if they were damaged beyond saving? What if Galra had them already killed?  
Pidge curled up in her big flossy blanket, tears still leaving wet trails on her face. Her little body was shaking and her head ached. The photo rested on her chest. She had forgotten to take her glasses off and now they were stained from the tears. Soon she couldn’t breathe properly, her throat was sore and her tears went dry.  
Pidge clenched her teeth. Now was not the time to give up, not after all these efforts. Matt and Lance were alive and she was going to find them. She should believe in her best friend, the technology since the machines had never failed her.  
*  
“Keith, I wanna talk with you.” stated Pidge the next morning. The whole Volton team had gathered for breakfast, although nobody had desire to eat.  
“If it’s about Lance, I am not going to change my mind.” the dark haired boy seemed as he hadn’t slept at all, which surely happened.  
“I agree with you - we can’t forget about him. But I want you to think about what he would say in such situation.”  
“We should stick together. We should go on.”  
“Exactly.“ nodded Pidge. “I have an idea how to find him.”  
“What is it?”  
“You have piloted the Red Lion before, so it might be possible to use it as a connection with Lance.”  
“I hope that Red will accept me now.”  
“I want to apologize.”Allura stand up and lowered her head. “The sleeping potion in your diner was absurdly foolish. I am really sorry about it.”  
“I am no longer mad. We all are under extreme pressure and you only wanted to protect Voltron. “ the features of Keith’s face visibly relaxed. “I should apologize too. I overreacted a bit.”  
“There is no problem.” smiled Pidge.  
“After breakfast I will try to connect with Red.”  
*  
Pidge was pretty proud of her idea. If it succeeded, they would not only find Lance, but also explore further the mystical connection between the Lions and their Paladins. She knew the sharpshooter felt upset by Blue’s refusal, but maybe Red was the one meant for him.  
Keith had stayed with his former lion for an hour. Pidge was walking anxiously around the room. Why did it take so long? What was happening between the dark haired boy and Red? When the door opened and Keith came in, it wasn’t what Pidge had expected.  
The eyes of the current Voltron leader were no longer red-hot. They were dismayed. The color of his face was a few shades paler than before; his mouth was set in a hard line.  
“What happened?”  
“Red couldn’t connect with Lance. We should find another way. ”  
“Are you okay?” insisted Pidge.  
“Yes, I am fine.” Keith avoided eye-contact. “I am going to my room to think of another plan.”


	4. Chapter 4

Haggar almost fell on the floor from exhaustion. She had visited her husband and used all her remaining energy for his recovery. The witch should not only heal him, but also preserve the Empire from falling apart.   
Her gaze wandered in her fast empty room. Apart from her bed, there was no other furniture or anything personal. Suddenly her dark eyes discerned a long forgotten photo on the wall. Haggar shrieked and rip it off; still she couldn’t make herself to throw it away.  
Her younger self smiled brightly from the picture. The big amber eyes, the hair of sapphire blue, the proud posture- everything was lost a long time ago. The only remains of her destroyed native land were the the marks on her cheeks. She had started to hate them until she found out how beneficial they were to her husband.  
Despite her marriage to Zarkon, she had never been an Empress and she had never longed for that. Her only desire was to remain at her husband’s side. When Haggar was pregnant with Lotor, the witch thought she was going to have another one to dedicate to. But her son disappointed his father and seemed to be her greatest failure.  
Haggar closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but her resentment towards the Prince kept her awake. A dark flame of anger was trying to reach her cold heart. That cocky bastard let one of their prisoners escape and had flown away with the other one. What was even worse, he had taken all the stocks of interrogation water and now she couldn’t experiment with it.  
Haggar wanted this freaking mess to end. Lotor was not worth of the throne and should never become the Emperor. Only if Voltron hadn’t appeared… Haggar opened her eyes sharply. She should attack the lions now, when they didn’t have one of their Paladins. If she defeated them, her husband could again pilot Black and unquestionably rule the Universe.  
*  
The team was torn apart and Allura couldn’t do anything about it. Her only hope was that the Galra won’t attack them now. Black still rejected Shiro and Lance was nowhere to be found. What is more, Keith seemed reluctant to share anything about his talk with Red. Blue also refused to connect with her ex-Paladin.  
The Princess knew she shouldn’t carry the burden alone, but she couldn’t stop herself from worrying. Her father was the creator of Voltron and she felt responsible for the lions and their Paladins. The outcome of the war was more or less a consequence of her decisions.   
Often she dreamed of the time, when she was a little girl. Her parents were still alive and Altea was thriving. Allura shook her head. Her past was not going to help her to free the Universe from the Empire.   
The ship alarm went off and the Princess didn’t react at first. She froze and stared with blank expression on the wall.  
“In the name of Voltron, no. Please no.” whispered she. “We can’t fight right now.”  
Allura made herself run to her lion. On the way she met Shiro, who was wearing his black battle costume. She smiled lightly – he still hadn’t given up of his lion. Maybe this time he was going to revive their bond and Voltron was going to fight again. Allura felt that her power was coming back to her.  
“Are you okay, Princess?” asked Shiro as they were running.  
“I am fine.” there was no time for further explanation.  
“You are not the only defender of the Universe, you know. And if you need someone to confide in, we are here for you.”  
“Thank you.”  
The Princess stormed in the room of Blue. Her palms were sweating and her heart had already been pounding too fast. Allura wasn’t sure who was leading the attack and could only hope that neither Haggar nor Lotor were on that Galra ship. Fortunately, Zarkon didn’t seem to have recovered yet, otherwise he would have come with his whole army.  
To be honest, she had a bad feeling about the Black lion. Keith was emotionally unstable and his judgement was not to be trusted in battle. So, it was her duty to lead the team and keep it in formation, Voltron or not.  
Blue felt her uneasiness and got out with a roar. The sky had turned violet due to Galra ship. The cold sensation of the lion’s controllers soothed Allura a bit. The Princess sensed their bond and took a deep breath. She was in control, she could handle the situation.  
“Keith, I can’t connect with Black. Take the lead.” screamed Shiro through their communication channel. Allura wasn’t surprised, but still frowned.  
“Gather around me, Paladins. Shiro, get ready to attack with the Castle weapons. Coran, search for an escape route.” ordered she immediately. “We are weaker without Voltron, so be careful.”  
Since Keith didn’t respond to her command, Allura kept an eye on him simultaneously with the enemy ship. She concentrated in order to sense even the lightest trace of Altean power, meaning that the Leader of the Galra druids was there. There was nothing.  
Then Keith did what she feared the most – he left the formation and speed up. А sweat swept down her back. The only person, who could possibly stop him, currently was captured. Allura was left with no choice, but to use the better agility of Blue and outrun him.  
The Princess reached first the enemy battle ship. Her lion scarcely dodged some of the Galra attacks. Her battle instincts were the only thing that saved her; because her mind was bumping with so many thoughts at once that her head ached. Her knuckles whitened- so firm was she holding the controllers of her lion.   
Allura started running through the corridor of the battleship. She had forgotten her weapon in the haste and hoped her strength and her Altean magic were enough. She found herself longing to fight again with Haggar, this time to defeat her completely, although the Princess had never thought she will raise her hand against another Altean.  
But the long white hair and amethyst skin didn’t belong to the Galra witch. Lotor turned around and smiled brilliantly at her with his sharp teeth. Allura tensed and changed her posture, ready to combat.  
“Is that not the graceful Princess of Altea?” Lotor bowed elegantly. “Sorry for the hostile reception, Your Highness. I didn’t expect you to come.”  
“No need for formalities, Lotor. Where is Lance?” snapped Allura.  
“Oh, you are not as graceful as I thought.” laughed the Prince. “Don’t worry about the boy. I will keep him safe.”  
“Give him back.” Allura realized how stupid she sounded, but she was too furious to care. Her hands clenched into fists.  
“But why? I am having so much fun.” Lotor seemingly casually stepped forward with his left foot. “I am not into hitting women.”  
“But you will have to fight me.”  
“As you wish, my lady.” purred the Prince.  
From the first encounter of their hands Allura sensed how powerful and skillful her opponent was. Judging by his movements, Lotor seemed to fight mostly with swords. The Princess thought she had started to understand his pattern, when he suddenly changed it.  
Allura barely protected her stomach from his right fist and then jumped, creating a distance between them. The Prince had already figured out her combat style and adapted to it. She tried to step up the pace, but there was no use. Lotor’s smile widened. He was going to tire her up even more easily.   
The heir of Galra Empire was like a snake, whose venom was soon going to reach her body and mortify her slowly. His statement that he didn’t expect her was a lie- he was prepared for their fight and was now playing her for a fool. Unlike his father, who preferred brutal force, Lotor took advantage of every possible weakness of his enemies.  
*  
Keith was about to follow Allura, when another Galra ship appeared from their backs. “This should be Lotor.” The new Black Paladin applied all his willpower and energy in order to quicken his lion. Pidge screamed something to him, but it didn’t matter anymore. His greatest enemy had appeared and maybe Lance was on that ship as well.  
As Black was landing on fuselage, Keith was already standing and then got out of his lion in motion. The dark flame was raving in his eyes. His fingers were firmly wrapped around the haft of his sword. The Blade of Marmora was cold beneath his clothes.   
This time he didn’t care for the noise of his steps. Let them hear the Black Paladin was coming. Let them see the half breed, ready to crush each and every Galra soldier in his path until he found their leader. Keith was willing to torture Lotor if needed.  
Soon his vision blurred. His enemies reduced to black, grey and purple stains. The clang of weapons and armors, the screams of pain and his own pulse were nothing more than a trivial thud for him. Unlike any previous battle there was no adrenalin or boiling sense of danger in his blood, only cold ferocity.  
Where was the Prince? Keith lost his patience and ran his sword through the metal door in front of him. He had expected to see everything, but the Galra witch. At first disappointment suffocated fury. Then Keith remembered who had tortured Shiro and was probably now tormenting Lance. Haggar had crushed their leader’s dream, had experimented on him. Shiro’s hair became white because of the pain she caused to him.  
Keith uttered a roar and attacked. Haggar was surprised by the sudden assault and the blade cut through her arm. Her cry and the smell of her blood intoxicated him. But the witch got back on her feet quickly and counterattacked.  
Her magic made Keith shudder. His sword and knife were nothing before that raw power. The Black Paladin couldn’t step back and was hit by one of her lightings. His whole body shook and the pain was agonizing. Keith started laughing madly on the floor.   
“Is this all you’ve got?” mocked he.  
Keith stood up and gathered all his strength. Haggar was also a brilliant source of information and deserved to be punished for her crimes. Without her Zarkon was never going to recover. Maybe Lotor will be willing to trade prisoners and return Lance to them.   
Before the Black Paladin could step forward, the ship overturned owing to a successful hit. Keith and Haggar fell through the ravaged door. The witch was able to grab the metal frame and to hold on. The dark haired boy sheathed his sword in order not to hurt himself.  
Keith fell into open space. Black reacted immediately and caught him with his teeth. The Galra ship restored its balance and flew away. Keith wanted to return and continue the fight, but his current lion brought him back to the Castle.  
“What are you doing? I should fight Haggar, I should find Lance.” screamed the new Voltron leader. “Please.”  
Black didn’t respond.


	5. Chapter 5

“We would have married, if Zarkon hadn’t destroyed Altea.” said Lotor with a lazy smile after dodging her arm.  
“Should I be concerned by that now?” snapped the Princess.  
The Heir of Galra didn’t respond. Allura tried to hit him again. By now, she managed to bruise his hand, but nothing more - Lotor was a way too agile, a way too strong, a way too cunning.  
“I should admit you are a pretty good fighter. The legends about Altean strength and abilities were true.” Lotor started to push her against the metal wall and Allura clenched her teeth and tried to hold on.  
“Can you please shut up for a moment?” snarled the Princess  
“I am sorry, but that’s not one of my numerous abilities.”  
Soon her back touched the cold surface. Lotor’s smile widened. Suddenly the ship heeled over and the both fighters lost their balance. Allura was the first one to get up and didn’t miss the opportunity. Her fist met his perfectly pointed nose and then his smomach. A glimpse of pleasure ran through her body, when Lotor let a surprise noise and fall on his knees with blood rolling down his purple face.  
“Nobody has hurt me so bad since years. “ the Prince grinned amused.  
“Someone should have reminded you then you are not invincible.”  
“Oh, I haven’t forgotten about it, don’t worry.” Lotor’s features twisted. The arrogance in his violet eyes was replaced by a mixture of piercing fear and blinded hatred.  
“Sir, we are under attack.” screamed one of Lotor’s generals outside the room.  
“I know.” retorted the Prince.  
”This time is the other Galra ship.”  
“You should be my dear mother.” Lotor smiled ironically. “I hate saying this, but we will leave our fight for another day.”  
“Don’t you dare to run, Lotor.”  
Barely a few seconds passed after her last words when a massive metal piece fell from the ceiling. Allura jumped aside, but wasn’t quick enough. She screamed, when the fragment crushed her left arm, tearing her costume, her skin and breaking her bones.  
The Princess barely managed to stay on her feet. The sight of her enemy in front of her was the only thing that gave her strength. Allura’s fingers instinctively reached for the wound and a new wave of pain pierced through her quivering body. Her eyes were burning from the tears, her arm- from the hot streaming blood.  
Lotor want forward to her and the Princess retreated with staggering. She was no longer fit for that fight and was about to be the one running way. Her mind was dimmed to the extent Allura almost broke one of her father’s strictest rules and obligatory part of Altean royal manners- “Under no circumstances use swear words.”  
“As I already said, our fight is over for today.” stated the son of Zarkon. “Your lion is waiting for you outside.”  
The pain in her arm and humiliation in her heart were so immense, Allura preferred to remain silent and save her remaining power.  
*  
“What are you doing? I should fight Haggar, I should find Lance.” screamed Keith. “Please.”  
Black neither respond, nor moved an inch. Keith felt how much his body was drained from the fight with the Galra witch. His eyes were closing, all of his muscles ache, and the touch of the dark magic left his skin stinging.  
The new Voltron leader shook his head and started to concentrate in order to find his bound with the lion, when Haggar’s ship fired a t the other Galra war machine. Keith was so shocked by this turning of the events he froze on one place with raised eyebrows. What the hell was happening? Where was Allura?  
A small figure was coming towards the Castle. Keith picked out the Blue lion. The beast landed near his own and roared. The mouth of the lion remained open and Keith decided to walk in.  
“Allura. “ screamed he. “What happened?”  
“Haggar attacked Lotor’s ship and a metal piece fall from above.” the voice of the Princess was weak, barely audible. “The Prince has Lance captured, but I couldn’t make him reveal his whereabouts…”  
“Shh. You have done what you should.” Keith tried his best to sound compassionate, although his insides were burning with. “ Don’t waste your energy.  
Keith tossed her uninjured arm across his neck and lifted her up. He should find somebody quickly to take care of Allura and then go after Lotor. The black haired boy knew this wasn’t the decent approached to a suffering comrade, but couldn’t stop himself. “I am a terrible leader. Why have I even agreed to be the Black Paladin?”  
As soon as started to scold himself, Haggar’s ship jumped into hyperspace, followed by Lotor’s. Keith swore vulgarly under his breath and brought the Princess inside the castle. His legs and arms started to tremble and he struggled to hold her.  
“Oh my God.” exclaimed Shiro as soon he saw Allura’s pale face and bloody arm.  
“Bring her in the infirmary.”  
The former Voltron leader took the Princess surprisingly gently in his arms. Keith’s eyes became unfocused and his legs felt like a melting butter. The new Black Paladin lost consciousness.  
*  
Lance expected everything, but not waking up in another prison cell. Even his shackles were replaced with new ones. The boy wasn’t very fond of the changes – the room was far more cramped than the first one and his wrists were aching. Still he had no fresh wounds, which was something.  
Perhaps this was Lotor’s revenge for yesterday. Lance’s heart shrank from fear. Had the Prince decided to torture him? The Red Paladin wasn’t sure, if he could handle another portion of the “water”. He might not have been so rude to the Heir of Galra Empire. No, he shouldn’t trample the remains of his pride in order to survive.  
Lotor came to visit him in his cell as he had been doing every day for two weeks. Fortunately, Lance had managed to wipe out both the tears and the terror from his eyes before that. The Red Paladin held his chin high and seemed strong in front of his ward.  
“Hello, my dear Paladin.” The Prince bent over and gave him one of his perfect smiles.  
“What do you want?”  
“I want to show you something and discuss an extremely important matter with you.” stated Lotor “Follow me.”  
Lance didn’t take any action. He was cold, thirsty, hungry and totally tired of this theater. Damn this Galra bastard. His whims were the last thing that concerned the Red Paladin.  
“Oh, come on. Don’t play the disobedient rebel. Don’t make me force you.”  
To his surprise, Lotor didn’t bring him in a dark chamber full of whips and chains, but in a spacious room with а comfortable bed. There was a large plate filled with food on a table nearby. Lance swallowed. Water, a delicious dish, a bath and proper sleep- that was all we wanted in this moment.  
Lotor noticed his longing and smiled warmly or at least tried to do so. The Red Paladin still sensed the vicious glimmer in his eyes.  
“Make yourself comfortable.” said Lotor as he removed Lance’s chains.  
„What’s the catch?”the Red Paladin wrinkled his brows. “I will ask again. What do you want from me?”  
“I have a special offer for you.”  
“I’m not going to betray my friends. “retorted Lance firmly.  
“How brave. You call them friends, but do they really care for you?”  
“Of course. That’s why they are called friends in the first place” Lance’s laughed awkwardly.  
“No, they do not and you know it .They do not need you anymore, sweetheart.”  
“That’s not true.”  
“Poor thing. I heard your screams when the “water “was still in your blood. “ Lance preferred not to react so Lotor continued. “Now you are just a fragile pathetic human, but you can become a Galra general and later a Prince.”  
“Never.” yelled Lance.  
“You haven’t heard my whole offer. I am not asking you to be a traitor, but to sit beside me on the throne of the Empire.”  
“Stop joking.”  
“I am absolutely serious, my little Paladin. I have no desire to interrogate or torture you. You have a potential that shouldn’t be lost.”  
“I am afraid you have a mistake. I am no one special and certainly don’t have anything like a potential or a talent.” despite his best intentions Lance’s voice cracked.  
“That’s why you aren’t special yet- no one places confidence in you. But I do.”  
“Don’t manipulate me with pretty words. There is no way I could possibly believe you. Joining you is out of consideration.” Lance pursed his lips and swallowed the tears. The bed and the food didn’t appeal to him anymore.  
Lotor burst out laughing out of nowhere. The Red Paladin stepped back until his leg reached the wooden back of the bed. The Prince continued to laugh hysterically and his sharp canines caught Lance’s eye.  
“You surpassed my expectations.” the Heir of Galra Empire smirked.  
“What?!?”  
“That was an experiment, a temptation for you. You have passed the test.”  
Lance was startled by his words, so didn’t notice how the Prince had shortened the distance between them. All of sudden Lotor’s breath was caressing his face. The Red Paladin sat on the bed out of instinct. The son of Zarkon put his hands beside Lance’s tights and started to lean on.  
“What the hell are you doing?” murmured the Red Paladin with a blush on his checks.  
“Is it not obvious?”  
“Stop it right there.” Lance turned his face away. “I am not going to be your whore.”  
Lotor laughed again, but stepped back and left the Red Paladin with a room to breathe. The human boy understood in what a deep shit he had gotten himself into.  
“Are you going to torment me now?” Lance sounded a lot braver that he felt.  
“I am not such a son of bitch. Actually, when I consider who my mother is, I am. Anyway, I am not seeking revenge and what I said about the usage of the bed and the bath remains in force.”  
*  
The door of the cell opened with creaking and Lance tensed, waiting for Lotor to appear.If his heart had already been beating too fast, now it was about to burst. The Leader of the Galra Druids entered the room and her piercing yellow eyes ran through his whole body.  
“It seems that Lotor didn’t give you another dose of the potion.” her hoarse voice made him shiver. The food in his stomach suddenly wanted to go out.  
Lance screamed, when her dark magic sent him on the cold floor. The Red Paladin felt his ribs cracking and spat out blood. He was totally defenseless as the witch injected the “water” in his arm.


	6. Chapter 6

Lance trembled. His tattered prisoner clothes were far from enough against the cold in his cramped cell. His whole body was touched by a metal wall. His wrists had already gone dead because of the crackles and now his neck was chained as well.   
To make the situation worse, this morning his waking included icy water. Now Lance was waiting to be picked up for the new portion of training, actually the experiments of the Galra witch. He didn’t know since when had he been her captive, but he had already got used to this routine.  
That didn’t mean he got used to the pain or the cold. His heart still shrank very time Haggar injected the “water” inside his veins. He couldn’t explain the damage the liquid was causing to his mind. It was invading the darkest parts and then bringing out all of his greatest fears. Lance was afraid he was going to lose his mind soon.   
Someone entered the cell and interrupted his flow of thoughts. The Red Paladin was roughly grabbed by the hair and forced to stand up. His eyes had being staring in complete darkness for so long they were suffused with tears by the encounter with the purple lights in the corridor. Although he hadn’t slept properly for ages and could barely think straight, Lance felt every scratch and every bruise on his overworked body.   
This time a surprise awaited him in the training room- Prince Lotor himself. Lance hadn’t seen him since that day in his bedroom. It’s not like he missed the arrogant Galra bastard, but he was at least not so merciless as his mother.  
“Oh, Lance, you don’t look so good as before.” stated Lotor. There was no amusement in his voice, though.  
“Your mother has taken care of me.” retorted Lance with a bitter laugh. His humor remained his shield, but now had become darker. His gaze turned to the dark crimson stain on the floor – the blood he vomited in the end of his first training.  
“She loves experimenting, doesn’t she?”Lotor returned his smile. The Cuban boy didn’t fail to notice the trembling of his lower lip before that. “My father, then the Champion, now a Paladin of Voltron.”  
“You as well?”  
Before the Galra Heir could answer, Haggar went in. Lance shivered unconsciously as her dark aura filled up the whole room. He had dreamt of her last night and couldn’t get rid of the pictures. How her long pale fingers were rummaging in his mind. How the whole Voltron team was observing his suffering without interfering.   
“Lotor, what are you doing here? I don’t remember summoning you.” The witch approached. “You have already failed miserably to break the will of the prisoner.”  
“Weren’t you going to interrogate him? Why is he training?” the Prince’s his nostrils flared as he swallowed her insults.   
“I need a new champion.”  
“Then I want to fight him.”  
“Nobody cares about you or your wishes. Zarkon has almost recovered, so you are no longer needed.” Lance started to swear in his mind - the Voltron team was doomed.   
“Are you going to exile me again?” Prince Lotor’s expression dulled.  
“You were from no use for the Empire. We had even lost territories because of your lacking leadership skills. You are an absolute disgrace to me and to your father. Get out of here”  
For a moment Lotor seemed as he was about to hit his mother or at least argue with her.   
“As you wish.” his voice was cool and intimidating. Zarkon’s son turned around and left the room.  
*  
Haggar was simultaneously furious on Lotor’s account and satisfied with the progress of her new Champion. It didn’t matter he had refused multiple times to be her toy and warrior. In return she had doubled his exercises and punished him with lightings even for the smallest mistake. Finally, she gave him a new portion of “water”.  
As the witch approached his cell in order to check the effect, she heard weeping and broken whispers in an unfamiliar language. The scent of angst was in the air.  
“Mamá, no me dejes en paz. Hace frío y tengo miedo. Te necesito. No me dejes! ¡Por favor! ”   
Haggar entered the cell and trembled. It was really cold inside. She lighted the murky room with her magic and brought the bottle with the “cure” out of her robe. The eyes of the prisoner dilated as he recognized the liquid.  
“Give me that.” screamed Lance and attempted to pull it out her hands, but the chains around his wrists and his neck restrained him. The boy roared like an injured beast.  
Not a muscle on Haggar’s face flinched and she observed him with a cool interest. Her hand lightly shook the bottle and the witch devoured the weep of despair, which come from the prisoner.  
“Give it to me. Please.” begged Lance and fell on his knees. His chains rattled as his forehead touched the cold metal floor. “I will do everything. Just stop this pain.”  
“Will you be my Champion?” Haggar wasn’t actually intending to use him in the arena, but rather her weapon against the Voltron team.  
“Yes.” the Paladin raised his head and the witch saw the glowing tears, streaming from his eyes and the saliva, dripping from his mouth. “Please.”  
*  
Shiro took a deep breath. After the Castle of Lions suffered a double attack from the Empire, everything was a total mess. Keith had pushed himself over too hard. The Princess was severely injured and was now bleeding in his arms. Coran lost his nerve by the sight of her blood. Not to mention, there was still no sign from Lance.   
“Pidge, estimate the damage of the Castle’s shields.” ordered the former Voltron leader. “Hunk, help him.”  
“Yes, sir.” screamed the two Paladins and ran away.  
“Coran, put yourself together and check Keith’s condition.”  
“But, the Princess…” the Altean’s lower lip trembled.  
“I will take care of her, don’t worry.”   
“I am fine.” added she.  
The Japanese walked into the infirmary and laid Allura gently on a bed. She was awfully pale and her teeth were clenched. Shiro examined the ripped skin and the broken bones. His insides turned, although he had seen a lot more wicked injuries and had suffered such himself during his slavery.  
Shiro hurried up to stop the bleeding. The Princess didn’t let out any sound of agony. The only sign of her hardship was a light quiver of her arm and the tension in her muscles.   
“You are a real warrior.” the former Black Paladin smiled encouraging, while rummaging in the cupboard with medicines and bandages. Where were the painkillers?  
“Thank you, but that is not true.” Allura shook her head. “I could not defeat Lotor.”  
“He’s not only mighty, but extremely tricky opponent.” his laugh was replaced by a hard line. His voice hardened. “Did he cause this to you?”  
“No, a metal piece fell from the ceiling during our fight.”  
“So, it isn’t your fault at all.”  
Few minutes later he realized he was only losing his time- there were no pain relievers left.   
“Princess, I am so sorry.” Shiro showed her the empty bottles.  
“There is no need for that. Just go on with the bandaging.”  
“But the pain…” Shiro was a way too familiar with it.  
“I can take it.” Allura raised her chin high.   
The Princess was everything, but a fragile, delicate girl. Still Shiro had never been so gentle by tending a wound of a comrade. He didn’t pity her, no, he just didn’t want to hurt her further.   
“It did not hurt so much.” when he was done, Allura finally relaxed in the bed.  
“Not many can handle this without screaming or at least weeping.”  
The mesmerizing eyes of the Princess were starting to close, so Shiro wrapped her with a blanket and stand up. He should check what happened with Keith.  
“Are you already going?” asked Allura.   
“I can stay, if you wish.”   
“Please. Until I fall asleep.”  
Shiro sat again on the edge of the bed. His fingers instinctively caressed the palm of the injured hand. Allura smiled lightly and fall asleep.  
*  
Keith was again inside his former lion and trying to find its connection with Lance.   
“Oh, come on. Let there be something” muttered he, while concentrating harder. “Help me find your Paladin.”  
It seemed as if Red had built a wall around her bond with the Cuban boy and wouldn’t let him in. “So, that’s how people feel, when they try to communicate and get closer to me.” taught the new Voltron leader.  
Suddenly Keith saw a light in his mind, similar to an opening door. “Finally” wanted he to scream, but he shouldn’t lose focus. As he walked through, he entered a memory of the Lion. Lance was sitting on his place with a tired smile. Keith was aware of the fact the Cuban boy was confiding in Blue, but didn’t know about Red.   
“Hey,buddy .I am really glad you chose me after the rejection of my girl.” started Lance. “I am sorry, if I bother you with my ranting, but I have no one to talk with.”  
Keith realized he was prying on something entirely private and tried to get out, but without success. Red wanted to show him this by all means.  
“I am just a replacement until Shiro returns, aren’t I?” when he was on his own, Lance dropped the act and the cocky smile was no longer on his face. “I am not sure, if I can actually manage that task.”  
“My skills turned out to be poor with Blue and you are harder to pilot. I can sense the coming disaster. I am disaster myself.” the Cuban boy laughed bitterly.   
“I know I am a burden for the team. I mean I notice how they all react to my stupid jokes and flirts. I know how annoying and useless I am, but I just can’t stop.”  
Lance couldn’t fight back the tears anymore and they ran down his cheeks. Keith took a deep breath as he felt a hurting in his chest. The new Voltron leader remembered their conversation in his room - then he didn’t gasped how serious were the concerns of his right-hand man.   
“I know stepping aside is the best decision in this case, but that doesn’t ease my disappointment. I don’t want to be the leftover. I wish to have a purpose, to do something for my family out there. Why I am like that? “  
Keith woke up from his nightmare as a needle ran into his arm. The first thing he saw was Coran’s pale face and dilated eyes. He wasn’t in Red, but in a bed.  
“What happened? Where are the others?” asked the new Black Paladin and tried to sit. A penetrating pain in his head made him grit his teeth.  
“Don’t move. “warned the Altean and injected a blue liquid in his veins. “You have overworked yourself, so now you need to rest.”  
“But Lance…”  
“You cannot be of any help for him if you collapse on the battlefield.” Coran started to bring different medication out. “Or if you do not sleep and eat properly for days.”  
“What?”  
“You know exactly what I mean. Do not make me check you daily.”  
“Yes, sir.” mumbled Keith.


	7. Chapter 7

Lance sensed something bad was coming the moment Haggar left him rest for a week. There were no trainings, no experiments with him, no “water”. The Red Paladin decided to recover a bit, to gather his strength and to escape somehow from the ship. As one he heard Galra soldiers speaking in front of his cell, he knew his sixth sense didn’t lie to him.  
“Haggar had found her a new Champion.” a hoarse voice echoed in the corridor, accompanied by a sound of shoes against metal.  
“He should become more than that. “retorted another voice. “She wants to turn him into a puppet of the Galra Empire and use him to tear Voltron apart from within.”  
“That sounds genius.”  
Long consideration and complex strategies weren’t his strong side, so Lance hoped his spontaneous escape will surprise his enemies and give him time to find a fighter and a way out of the ship. Improvisation always helped him until now. He considered using Lotor’s anger towards his mother, if needed.   
Lance didn’t want to admit it, but he didn’t have any idea what to do or where to go, when or better if he managed to escape. His whereabouts was unknown and the Castles of Lions may be galaxies away. But whatever happens, happens.   
*  
Lotor burst into laughter as the alarm went off. This boy. Only if he had agreed to rule the Empire beside him, everything would have been perfect. The Prince took the blue blaster, made his way to the hangar with the fighters and opened the door of the battleship.   
This place had become special for him and the Paladin. This was his last chance for a battle with the boy, mixed with revenge against Haggar. It didn’t take long until Lance reached the hangar. He was sweaty and out of breath. Lotor’s smile and the Paladin’s eyes widened, as their gazes met.   
“Hello, darling.” purred Zarkon’s son. “You have impressed me again.”  
“What are you doing here? What do you want?”   
“A proper fight.” answered Lotor and threw the blaster in his foot. “If you win, I will let you go. Haggar is not here for a while, so you have a chance to escape.”  
“I don’t have any time.” a line appeared between his brows and the Paladin didn’t touch his weapon.  
“But you should find some.” the Prince pulled his right leg back and changed his center of gravity. Lance clenched his tooth and gripped the blaster.   
The Red Paladin leveled his again at his opponent and shoot. Lotor lowed and then charged. Purple flashes danced on the blade of his sword as he raised it. Lance countered his blow with the blaster and shot several times in the air.   
A smell of burnt filled the air as one of the blows hit the long white hair of the Prince. He laughed and his sword began to move faster and to strike harder. But Haggar’s harsh trainings had tempered the Paladin and he held his ground. The two weapons clashed so heavily that their wielders lost their grip. Lotor caught the blaster and Lance- the sword.   
“I can’t afford the luxury to stay here for long.” stated the Paladin. “Let’s finish this.”  
“As you wish.”   
The opponents slid the weapons towards each other. Lotor gripped the handle and raised his sword, but was too slow. He barely stifled his groan as a blow hit his leg and fell on the floor. It seemed Lance didn’t intend to hit any vital organs.  
“Soldiers will be here soon, so you won’t bleed to death. Hopefully.” screamed the Paladin as turned to the fighter.   
“You are a cutie, you know.”   
“Thank you. I am in your debt, so call me, if you need something. But not now, of course.” added Lance.  
Galra soldiers entered the room and started to shoot. Lotor rolled up on the floor and pressed the bleeding wound with his hand. He really hoped he won’t receive another injury.   
Lance turned around and shot back. After he had killed some of the soldiers, he opened the cabin and the left his weapon inside. The Paladin was about to sit inside before someone closed the door, when ricocheted hits broke some of the pipes crossing the ceiling and a yellowish gas erupted from them. One burst exactly against the boy. Lance covered his face with his hands and then screeched.  
As the smoke dispersed a bit, Lotor saw his bloodshot palms. The gas had scorched the bare skin of the boy and the flesh below. His blue eyes flooded with tears. For a moment he looked as if Lance was going to give up and beg for mercy, but he bit his lip and jumped into the fighter. Somehow he managed to turn up the engine with his injured hands and to set off. The Galra soldiers were still dazed and didn’t react.  
“Good job, my little Paladin.” thought the Prince and covered his mouth and nose. He tried to stand up, but the piercing pain pinned him to the ground. Lotor could see the new scar of his leg alongside the marks, left of his mother’s experiments.  
*  
“Mummy, I want to be like father.” the little boy was smiling brightly and pumping with energy.  
“We will talk later about it. Now I have to work.” sounded the typical answer of the witch.  
“Make me stronger. Please” screamed Lotor and for the first time caught the attention of Haggar and she gave him a half-smile.  
“Come with me.”  
The Prince was frightened by the dark magic of the Galra druids and the experimental labs, full with ropes, cables and blades. But the boy wanted more than everything to be a worthy son and make his mighty parents proud.   
“You are too weak.” stated the witch after her only child couldn’t bare her ambitious experiment and was lying in a bed with several severe injuries. “I thought the Galra and Altean blood will make you special, more powerful, but I was wrong. “  
“Let me try again.” mumbled they boy, although he was bleeding under the bandages. “Give me another chance.”  
“I do not want to lose my time with you any longer.”  
“But you won’t. I know I can do it.” Lotor swallowed his tears.  
“No, you cannot.”  
That was the last conversation between son and mother for the next few months. Haggar barely got out of the lab and Lotor was slowly recovering in the infirmary. The little boy started to dream about the lab every night and woke up with screams and sweat on his forehead. The Emperor didn’t come even once to see him.  
The Prince cursed the day Zarkon remembered about him and started to train him. The the scars on his body outnumbered multiple times his age and his palms were nearly constantly covered in the red marks of chains. His gorgeous white hair was cut close to the scalp. Lotor realized his tears were a sign of weakness, which could only bring him problems.   
*  
Lance could barely see anything through his damp eyes, the controllers were slipping because of the blood and his brain was detecting nothing, but the pain in his hands. The Paladin didn’t know how he managed to get out of the battleship and run away.  
The fuel he had was limited, but Lance flied at a maximum power. He should enlarge the distance, then stop for a moment and bandage his wounds before they infect and kill him. “Is it even worth the effort? Nobody needs you anyway. It’s better to die now than to suffer more.” whispered a tiny voice in his head.  
Lance stopped, when he felt his blood congealing and his hands sticking on the controllers. He took his shabby shirt off and tore it to pieces. His eyes instinctively examined his bare arms and chest. His whole skin was marked by Haggar’s torture and his muscles had become bigger because of the reckless training. Some of the scratches he had caused himself during his delirium in the cell.   
For no logical reason Lance though of his mother and his family on Earth. How would they react if they could see all of this bruises and scars?   
One look at his last wounds made his guts overturn. The skin was absolutely wrecked and was going to hurt for weeks before healing completely. But there was no way he will let his hands relax- he needed them for both piloting and fighting. Lance started to wrap the cotton around his hands and his eyes flooded with tears again.  
Lance noticed a small grey planet in front of him and had no other choice, but to land there. The tank was nearly empty. Hopefully, there weren’t any Galra soldiers around. Until now there was no sign of the witch coming after him, but too much luck was never leading to something good.  
As the Paladin pulled the controllers and landed on the rocky surface, his bandages soaked with blood. Despite it he took his blaster and get off the fighter. There wasn’t a living soul outside. Lance tried to cover his presence and move as stealthy as he could. In the distance the Cuban boy spotted a building and sighted with relief. He had a desperate need of water, food, medical care, new clothes and fuel.  
*  
Lance received all he needed, apart from the last one, but was again chained. The building turned out to be a nest of enslavers and he became their livestock. This time there was nowhere to run. In the worst case Haggar or one of her generals would appear and buy him. In the best case a random wealthy alien would use him for God knows what. He really should have died from infection.  
The slave market started and the Paladin felt hundred eyes examining his body. Lance looked down and wished to dispel in the air. Steps approached him and he dared to raise his head. Before him stand a thin figure in a dark armor and mask on the face. The lilac marks on its chest made the Paladin tremble. The Galra had found him.  
“He is mine.” stated the masked man and attacked his enslaver. Lance gasped. The shock went off quick and he ran as fast as he could.  
The figure rushed towards him and the Cuban boy accelerated. The crowd of buyers was so stunned, it let them get through. The guards of the slave market shouted and followed them. Suddenly his pursuer jumped and thrown himself upon Lance. The Paladin was pinned to the ground and couldn’t free himself not matter how he tried.   
“Stop resisting, you idiot.” hissed the figure. The voice was strangely familiar.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have left this fanfiction for the last weeks, since I neither had the time, nor the inspiration for it. Now I am trying to revive it and to end it. Await one or two chapters more.

Lance’s widened as the figure took off its mask. Keith was sitting above him. His piercing gray eyes examined all his bruises and scratches over his body and the face of the dark haired boy turned pale.  
“What happened to you?” asked Keith.  
“I will tell you later. Now we need to run. Your knife is still in me, but I can’t get it out now.”  
“You are right.” nodded Keith as he stood up and unchained Lance”s hand. “I had a ship at the end of the city.”  
Both Paladins began to run with the slave market guards on their heels. Lance’s whole body hurt and his sole wish was to lay down on the ground and sleep. Soon their pursuers reached them and Keith drew out his knife. Fortunately, none of their enemies had a blaster.  
Two of the guards engaged the half Galra and one remained for Lance. The Cuban boy started running around and avoiding his enemy. The strategy didn’t work and soon they both were wallowing in the mud, fighting for the sword of the guard. Lance felt every single wound on his body aching as it touched the ground. The weapon was hurled away. Lance and his opponent came to grips. The Paladin had a new acquisition- bleeding nose.  
Suddenly he felt furious. He was so done with this whole shit that happened to him and just wanted the pain to end. Lance growled and gripped his opponent right by the throat. The guard’s eyes widened in shock. The Cuban boy tightened his grip.  
“Lance, stop. You are going to kill him.” screamed Keith. Lance looked up to him und let go of the guard. “I have defeated the others. It’s over.”  
“I have lost it.” admitted the new Red Paladin as he stood up. His moment of rage had worn off and he felt totally squeezed out. His friend hit the guard by the head.  
“Let’s go.”  
Lance almost cried as they reached the fighter and set off. He was finally saved by his comrade. No chains and no abuse were awaiting him. Lance imagined his comfort bed and smiled bitterly. He was finally going to have the opportunity to sleep normally, but sensed the upcoming nightmares. Suddenly he remembered his wrecked hands. After the fight the bandages were soaked with blood and he needed to cover them somehow.  
*  
“Keith, can I ask you for a favor?” Lance’s voice was low as never before.  
“Yes, what is it?”   
“May I have your gloves?” Keith raised his eyebrows by this request - he had expected everything, but not that.  
“Okay, I will give them to you, when we arrive at the Castle.” The half Galra knew better than to ask why his comrade needed them. His bruises told him enough.  
Lance said nothing to him or any of other in the next few days, merely got out of his room and was clearly avoiding any interaction. Keith wasn’t sure if he was even properly eating. The condition of his injures was unknown as well since no one beside the dark haired Paladin saw them by their arrival and Lance seemed to be tending them by himself.  
“He had experienced a lot and needs some time. Leave him alone for a while and he will come to us, when he feels he is ready.” instructed Allura. The Princess couldn’t rest in the infirmary bed any longer and was coordinating their missions from the Castle of Lions until her arms recovered fully. Shiro was always by her side.  
But Keith was too concerned about Lance to do nothing. He stopped attending diner as well, because he couldn’t stand this terrible silence anymore. They were no annoying flirt attempts and stupid puns, there was no one to talk uninterruptedly about himself. Training didn’t calm Keith anymore - there was no challenge in battling robots instead of a cocky Paladin. The half Galra thought the Blade of Marmora will distract him, but he was the one distracted and almost got himself killed. Their leader was extremely furious with Keith and forbid him from taking part in their missions until he cleared his mind.  
Keith had neither learned how to deal with his own emotions, nor received any comfort. For years it was far more important to find water, food and shelter. That’s why ignoring them and burying them inside seemed the best decision. Even when he was at Garrison, he remained a loner with no one to confide in and concentrated on his studies and training instead on his social skills. Later the Paladin tried to share with his Lion like Lance did, but it was a way too awkward.   
Keith still hadn’t found the right words for his tortured comrade and had no idea how to help him, but couldn’t remain indifferent. Finally Keith knocked on the door of Lance’s room. For a moment there was no sound from inside. Then someone took a deep breath and steps approached.  
“Who are you?” asked a weak voice from inside. If Keith hadn’t known whom this room belonged, he wouldn’t have recognized it.  
“I am Keith.” an awkward pause. “I wanted to see how you are.”  
“I am fine. You can leave now.” snapped Lance back.  
“Why are you so angry?” Keith’s brain panicked due to his inexperience and could’t think of a better question.  
“I am just tired and want to sleep.” Lance had been sleeping for days, so this wasn’t a valid excuse. Keith’s heart sunk within him. Something was wrong.  
“Okay. Open the door, let me see you and I promise I will leave.”   
The boy who was standing before him had almost nothing in common with Lance McClain. There was nothing left from his perfect hairstyle- the brown hair was an absolute mess and looked as if it hadn't been combed for at least three days. His bruised face was definitely missing its care routine. Even his posture was different- his head was no longer high, his shoulders were hunched and his arms were crossed as if he was trying to protect himself from something.  
“There is nothing to worry about, Kogane.” laughed Lance. The sound seemed unfamiliar and unnatural to Keith. “I will be ready for training and battle in a week.”  
“That’s not what I am concerned about.” the half Galra wanted to meet the eyes of his friend to check, if his smile had reached them. Lance avoided his gaze.  
“Then what is it?”   
“You have never talked with any of us about the things the Galra had done to you. I know I am not the best with words or feelings, but you can always lean on me.”  
“Thank you. I really appreciate it, but I don’t have anything to talk about. The Galra kept me in a prison cell the whole time and nothing happened to me.”  
Lance was a bad liar. His voice cracked at the end of his sentence and his hands shivered. Then the black haired boy noticed how strange his clothing was- blue pajama and at the same time Keith’s gloves. Not to mention the dark stains on the black cloth.  
“Is that blood?” Keith’s eyes narrowed.  
“What?” startled Lance.  
“On your gloves. Are you actually taking care of your wounds?”  
“Yes, of course. They have bled before and I just haven’t washed the gloves.”   
“Let me see your injuries.” Said Keith and grabbed Lance’s wrists. “Take off the gloves and the bandages below.”  
“But…”  
“Do it. Now.”  
The Half Galra had seen and experienced many awful wounds himself. Still his guts overturn as he saw the burnt and inflamed skin. The bandages were a bloody mess. It seemed as Lance had put his hands in an acid.  
“Have you shown this to Coran? Answer me honestly.” said the dark haired boy, although he already knew.  
“No.” Lance lowered his gaze.  
“What have you thought?” Keith’s voice became high-pitched with rage. “These wounds aren’t going to heal completely, unless they are properly tended. You will be scarred for life.”  
“I don’t care.”   
“What’s wrong, Lance? What have they done to you? You have never been so neglecting to yourself.”  
“If it doesn’t make me useful for the team, it doesn’t matter.”  
“Of course, it matters. You are our friend.” Keith remembered what Red had shown him. “I have seen what you have shared with your new Lion. I want to tell nothing from it is true.”  
“You have seen it?!? That was private.” The Cuban boy turned tense and defensive. His eyes widened from anger and he finally met Keith’s gaze.  
“Have you cried?”   
“That is none of your concern. Get out of here.” answered Lance coolly, looking away. ”Leave me already!”  
“What’s wrong, Lance?” asked Keith again. Both his expression and his voice softened and he reached out to Lance’s shoulder. The Cuban boy trembled at the touch, but didn’t’ repulse him.  
“Everything.” Whispered Lance to himself and tears filled his eyes. His whole body shook. “I am tired of this war and want to go home.”  
This time the dark haired boy knew what to do. Words were no longer needed. Keith embraced his sobbing comrade and was amazed how small and fragile Lance felt in his arms. It was like he was holding a child instead of a tall muscular teenager with wounded body and soul.  
“I only wanted to be like you, Keith. Strong, smart, a great pilot and Paladin. A hero” murmured Lance in the cloth of his already wet shirt. “But instead, I am not needed in this team.”  
“So, you envy me?”  
“Yes, is it bad?” Lance lifted his head and looked at him with damp eyes and cheeks.  
“Every time I saw you at Garrison, you reminded me of all I had never been and would never be. You were beaming, surrounded by your friends.” It was Keith’s turn to look away. He had never allowed opened up to anyone, even Shiro, and his heart ached, when he shared his deepest concerns. “I couldn’t adjust well and had always been alone.”  
“Weren’t you close with Shiro at that time?” Lance’s eyebrows rose.   
“Yes, but I still lacked the skill to connect with anyone. Unlike you I have no family and no home to return to. No one had noticed I was gone and no one waits for me.” The dark haired boy had already gotten used to this fact.  
“I am so sorry. I didn’t think…”  
“Don’t worry. I am the one who is not needed, not you. I am not hero, I am a failure.” Keith felt so weak and vulnerable like a warrior without his armor and weapons. “I am not a good leader, but you stayed by my side.”  
“I am your right- hand man after all. As such I should tell you that now you are the one, who is not telling the truth.” Lance dried his tears with a hand. “A great leader is selfless and puts the others before himself. You didn’t want to pilot Black, but still had done it for us, for the whole Universe.”  
“It wasn’t very successfully.” the new Black Paladin gave him a half-smile.  
“On the contrary.” his blue eyes fixed the wet shirt of Keith. ”Sorry I have spilled my bullshit over you.”  
“I have already told you can share with me.”  
“That applies to you as well.” Lance managed to smile encouragingly. “It all remains between us.”


End file.
